


The Sexventures of Batbabe: The Dark Knightie

by Lovely_Flight



Category: Batbabe, Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Action, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Porn, Batbabe: The Dark Knightie, Crime Fighting, F/F, F/M, Hand Jobs, Masturbation, Multi, Not gender bent, Porn With Plot, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 13:25:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6568102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovely_Flight/pseuds/Lovely_Flight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The City of Gothcum is a sensual city where sex and masturbation are as essential as breathing. But what happens when villainous curs step in to give our peaceful citizens blue balls? Fueled by her love of truth, justice, and a good time, Batbabe comes on the scene to fight for the greater good. Rated M for sexy pleasure and puns. Based on the porno "Batbabe: The Dark Nightie"</p><p>Will add more tags as the story progresses!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sexventures of Batbabe: The Dark Knightie

**Author's Note:**

> Good evening sexy ladies and fine gentlemen. I hope you're ready for a wild ride as I introduce this steamy new fanfic for your pleasure. This is the beginning of a beautiful tale starring the lovely, talented, and sexy Batbabe from the masterpiece that is "Batbabe: The Dark Nightie." Join me in her tale of mystery, intrigue, and lots and lots of hot, steamy situations guaranteed to make even the holiest nuns shudder in delight. As a being of pure ecstasy, I understand your desire to get to the climax. Enough foreplay, fair readers. Time to thrust you into the Sexventures of Batbabe. Enjoy.
> 
> Disclaimer: I am not the proud owner of Batbabe: The Dark Nightie.

**The Sexventures of Batbabe**

Our tale begins late at night in the Single district, home of the best shops for porn, personal toys, and books on improving your self-sex life. A car drove on the scene and squeezed into a parking lot outside the XXXVideos, the premier place for porno vids. 3 men stepped out of the car wearing clear cream-colored rubber masks and dark suits. The first man pulled out a long, yet slim, object and slowly thrust it into the door's key hole. He then pressed a button on the device, causing it to whir and vibrate for a few seconds before the lock clicked.

"See, I told you these were grade A handles, boys," whispered the man as he pushed the door open. "Now Rocks, stay near the door and keep watch for any signs of trouble. We'll handle getting all the merchandise."

The man in back became flustered and complained back, "Whaaaaat? Oh no, not this time, Dick. The last time you got me all that chicks with dicks porn!"

The second man, walking through the door, mentioned, "Well you did mention you liked chicks and dicks."

Rocks responded, "Oh shut up, Jack! I said I liked chicks  _and_  dicks, not  _with_  dicks. I like my chicks separate from my dicks, thanks you very much."

"Well that explains your lack of a girlfriend then!" Dick and Jack had a hearty laugh at Rocks's expense before the two continued into the store. Dick whispered, "I promise I won't get you that this time. Just keep an eye out, alright?" Rocks had no choice but to comply as his two jerkfriends were already exploring the store. He sighed and grabbed a DVD by the front to ogle while his pals searched for loot.

XXXVideos was a fairly small store, housing only a few hundred videos. Dick and Jack pulled finger-sized bags out of their pockets and blew them up to sack-like proportions. They bagged whatever caught their eye; heterosexual, homosexual, orgy, BDSM, nautical, bigger is better, masturbation, and so on and so on. If it had people enjoying themselves sexually they picked it up. They had to ration, of course; while their sacks were big, their capacities weren't infinite. They tried to keep it to the sexiest smut they could find, being sure to get something for not only themselves but a few of their friends as well.

"There's nothing like the gift that keeps on giving," thought Jack, shoving a few more porn videos into his sack. He was proud of himself this time around. Despite the sensual feast for the eyes, he kept his hands on the prizes. "Heh heh heh, tonight will be a night to remember." Just as he finished his thought, something in the back of the store caught his eye: the cosplay section. He hopped over the counter and surveyed the selection of premiere pornography. His eyes lit up at a rare treat. "Guys! You gotta see this!"

"Shhhh!" shushed Dick, waddling over to the counter while pulling up his pants. "You wanna interrupt the whole neighborhood? We gotta keep a low profile remember?" Dick was miffed before Jack thrust the DVD into his face. "No…way…" said Dick in awe of the treasure Jack had just unearthed. "You found the Limited Edition HD Batbabe Origin video!? I thought it was super rare!"

"It is!" yelled Jack. "You have to have some serious connections just to get a shaky camera bootleg of this! I can't believe it's here!" He turned to the back and ran his finger down the case. "Oh man! Directors Cut, special features, deleted scenes, and even an extended group masturbation scene with the cast and crew! 270 minutes of pure sexiness! Oh man, we're gonna be cumming for life with this thing!"

"Holy shit!" yelled Rocks, running up to them upon hearing those sensual features. "That sounds like heaven!"

"And how!" screamed Jack, jumping over the counter. "Boys, today is the day we become men. With this thing we're gonna be the talk of the town!"

"Oooh fuuuuck yeaaaahhh," moaned Dick, his mind now filled with possibilities. "We could have live showings of this and charge tooons of cash!"

"Or make our own copies and sell 'em for loads!" suggested Rocks.

"Or even tell everyone that we have it and make them do us favors just to get a peek of our goods," said Jack, rubbing his hands in his pocket and laughing maniacally.

Dick put his arms around his jerkfriends and smiled. "Boys, no, MEN. It's time to make history in this town! Let's finish getting the loot and get back to the man cave to do some plotting!"

"Right behind you!" said Jack, breaking to get his sack from the back room. Rocks snickered dirtily. "Oh man…glorious 1080p Batbabe porn…! I can't wait to see those big Batbabe boobs in HD!"

"Why wait?" whispered a sultry voice in both of their ears. The two turned to the door but before they could react a mysterious figure swung through the window and blindsided them with huge mounds of flesh, sending them crashing onto the couches in the back.

Jack, hearing the commotion, waddled out of the backroom. "What the-?! Who the hell did that!?" Unable to see the face of the assaulter, Jack cursed not bringing fleshlights with them for some much needed clarity. But, thanks to the light from the moon, he could make out features. Features that he knew anywhere. "Wait a minute…those long, slender legs…that impossible bust…those bootylicious buns…that iconic cape…! No! Y-you can't be!"

"Oh, but I am," said the woman as she shifted into a fighting pose, allowing the moon to shed light on her face.

"GUYS! GUYS!" yelled Jack, too scared to make a move. Rocks and Dick ran to his side but were soon reduced to the same insecure state as Jack. "I-I-It's her! It's BATBABE! What do we do? WHAT DO WE DO!?" Jack looked to his pal Dick, looking for some kind of guidance. He noticed that Dick was shaking uncontrollably but his shaking had changed from fear to uncontrollable excitement.

"Men! Don't you see!?" grinned Dick as he placed his strong hands on their shoulders. "This is our chance! If we capture Batbabe, we'll be even bigger stars than just having her porno! Think of it!"

The thought calmed the two down a bit. Jack suggested, "Y-you're right…we could have her make us pornos for free!"

Hearing this, Rocks calmed down as well. "Y-yeah! With us in 'em…and we could sell 'em for even more money!"

"That's right men," said Dick, "Or we could even make the lovely Batbabe into our own sexy maid…Come on men, let's not waste this golden opprotu-!" His sentence was cut short when his face met the heel of Batbabe’s boot with extreme force, sending him straight into the wall. Batbabe flipped around and slid her arms around the two remaining men just as Dick was seconds ago.

"Now then," whispered Batbabe. "I'm all for enjoying sex but…cleaning? I only like to get down and dirty, got it?"

"Ohhh I'll get you alright…" muttered Rocks under his breath, too distracted by the mounds of bat flesh inches from his face. Dick, dizzy from the kick and oversensitivity from the entire ordeal, mumbled as loud as he could, "Take her down guysss! She's only oooone porn ssstar! One seeeeexy, seeeexy porn starrrrr…" Jack and Rocks looked at each other and nodded before fisting the biggest targets in their sights: the batboobs. However, upon throwing out their fists, their fists seemed to be redirected away from her body, causing the two to simply give each other a friendly, yet slightly painful, fist bump.

"Wh-what the!?" questioned Jack. "Our fists bounced off!"

"Impossible!" exclaimed Rocks before throwing another punch. Sure enough, his fist touched something but for reasons unbeknownst to him the impact was redirected outward. Batbabe chuckled and took her hands off their shoulders.

"Hey boys, try up here," she said as she pointed to her eyes. Jack took the hint and shifted back to take a deep breath. He then charged at Batbabe and threw a quick jab straight at her face. She nimbly avoided the punch before turning, grabbing his arm, and throwing him over her shoulder at his already-spent jerkfriend. She then turned back to Rocks and smiled. "Now then, are you ready to  _finish_  this?" Upon hearing this, Rocks ran to the back of the store.

"If I can just grab the DVD and get out of here I can still make a fortune!" thought Rocks, running into to the backroom and finding the sack Jack had discarded. "Don't worry guys," he thought as he fumbled through it in search of the golden DVD while wiping the sweat and tears off his face. "I swear, I'll make enough money to bail you out for sure! Just stay safe for a little while and we'll look back on this like a bad dream! A horrible, sexy, disgusting dream!" Just as he finished that thought, he grabbed the DVD out of the sack and clutched it like a mom would a newborn baby. "I swear it! I'll jerk three times as hard for you guys tonight!" He turned around, expecting to see door frame for his escape, but instead saw a massive badonkadonk rapidly approach his face. Before he could react, Batbabe's booty bomb floored him with her butt planted firmly on his face.

"Oh my," teased Batbabe, reaching into her utility chest. "I've just met you today and we're already on the floor together. Well then, since we've gotten this far, might as well go  _all the way_ , right?" Rocks couldn't see what she pulled out of her chest but he could hear the snapping of a rope. "Now remember, the safe word is mango!"

**15 Minutes Later…**

Two police cars, responding to the alarm, arrived on the scene. The two cops burst through the doors with their guns at the ready but one lowered his gun upon seeing a familiar face. "Batbabe!" said the cop, laughing at the display of the three robbers hogtied and ready for booking. "I see you've taken care of things quite well!"

"You know this woman, Ben?" said the other cop, cautiously pointing her gun around the area.

"Who doesn't?" said Ben, gesturing to all of her. "She's one of the top porn stars in Gothcum!"

"Ah, that explains it," said the cop, putting her gun away. "I stick to drawn porn so I've never seen her before."

"Oh Ana. You and your way-foohs and huz-oo-bun-dohs," teased Ben. Ana just smiled and rolled her eyes while walking over to the robbers to inspect Batbabe's handiwork. "So Batbabe! You've been making quite a name for yourself these past few weeks! An amazing porn star is one thing but a crime fighter too?"

"Oh you know how it is," she responded. "I just got off, then I left work and heard all the commotion so I decided to pop in. No big deal."

"Don't get too  _cocky_  now Batbabe!" joked Ben and they all had a laugh minus the 3 goons with ball gags in their mouths. Ana admired the intricate knots each of them were restricted by but stopped when she reached Rocks.

"Uh oh!" joked Ana, moving her hand over mouth and pointing to Rocks's crotch with the other. "Looks like someone got a little  _too_  excited!" Ben and Ana had another chuckle and even Dick and Jack got a few muffled laughs out of it.

"It must have been from my  _headbutt_!" she quipped while smacking her butt. They continued to laughing with Dick and Jack's laughter causing them to spit all over themselves. Rocks began to cry again. Batbabe felt pity for him so walked up to the other two on the floor and expertly fondled the other two, making the creamed-pants solo into a trio. Ben and Ana continued to chuckle, blushing a bit, while Rocks had a hearty muffled laugh. Jack and Dick looked at each other and laughed a bit as well while Batbabe smiled and cleaned her hands off with Bat Hand Sanitizer™.

"Alright, enough fun out of you three," said Ben, helping Rocks to his feet while Ana helped the other two. "Good work as usual, Batbabe! We appreciate all you do around here."

"We'll take these three downtown," explained Ana as she helped them hop into the police car. "Theft this petty is so common I doubt they'll be in there longer than a few weeks. But hey, I'm sure they'll learn something." After slamming the door, she mentioned to them, "I hope you boys know how to hold off!" The three gulped, wondering what was in store for them in the coming weeks.

"Well then, my work here is done!" declared Batbabe, walking toward the wall of a nearby skyscraper. "Until next time!" And with that, Batbabe cartwheeled up and over the building.

**A few minutes later…**

As the police carted away the petty thieves, Batbabe surveyed the city of Gothcum atop the building. It was a beautiful, sexy city. _Her_ beautiful, sexy city. She didn’t have to run around protecting it when the laws worked well enough but damn was it exciting. She stared out over the lights for a time, watching the people go about their busy lives and smiled knowing she could do something to keep them going even if it wasn’t entirely for _them_.  

As the wind began to pick up, she decided to take a few snap shots of herself using her high-end camera phone for her scrapbook. She takes a few risqué shots, including some of her hanging precariously off the building, before jumping off the building and gliding toward her condo. Little did she know that another figure was photo bombing her sexy shots!

Out of the darkness stepped a lanky figure, clad in a lavender jumpsuit and sneakers. He had emerald hair, rose-colored lips, and an egg-shell painted face. He laughed evilly, pulling out his member and stroking it furiously. "So…Batbabe likes being a hero, aye?" said man, increasing his pace. "Hahaha! We'll see -unh- about that! When I'm done with this -oh yeah- city, all of Gothcum will be -yesss- brought to its knees! And when that happens I'll -oh yeah baby!- CUM ALL OVER ITS FACE! AHAHAHA!" The mystery man fired an ungodly amount of baby gravy all over the roof. "Isn't -hah hah- that right, Bozo?" said the man, waving his shlong up and down to make the tattooed face nod in agreement. The man grinned while jumping and sliding through his own personal milky way. After a few minutes of laughing, jumping, and jerking, he stopped in the middle of his masterpiece.

To those who looked at it from his level, they could only see a disgusting mess of man chowder spilled all over the roof. But, from a bird's eye view, this man carved out a smile just as sickening and white as his own. "Look out Batbabe! There's a new nut on the beat whose ready to drown this society in my cream! I hope you're ready for the climax Batbabe because I'm ready to plant my seed! So says I! THE JERKER! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading you sexy, sexy reader you. I hope you enjoyed those sexy adventures. That's all for now. Please drop a review if you got plenty of pleasure from the story. Until next time, stay sexy.


End file.
